one to three

The clipboard arrives first.

Boxes. Numbers.

A pen tethered like a warning.

Over the last two weeks, have you felt little interest or pleasure in doing things?

Sometimes the morning tastes like metal.

Sometimes I watch dust learn how to fall.

0- Not at all, 1- Several days, 2- More than half, 3- Nearly every day?

It depends on the light.

On whether my name sounds familiar.

On how long the kettle screams

before I remember why.

...two...

Feeling down, depressed, or hopeless?

Hope arrives late,

like a bus that may or may not be real.

Some days I stand anyway.

One to three?

If three is crying in the grocery store

and one is staring at my hands

until they stop belonging to me,

then maybe—somewhere in between.

Trouble falling or staying asleep?

Sleep is a room I keep rearranging.

I lie awake counting years,

then dream of nothing with effort.

...nearly every day

Thoughts that you would be better off dead?

I don’t want to die. I just want the weight to step off my chest for a moment. It feels like the only answer is death, but I don't want to die.

... zero

I leave with a score and a prescription.